Simply Connect

 We are all aspiring to love our neighbours, but are we inclined to agree with them, or even expect our neighbours to understand us? A simple life can be admired, envied, ridiculed, misunderstood or even mistrusted by others in the community in which we find ourselves and while hoping to love all our neighbours we often find ourselves liking some more than others and finding a few very difficult indeed! Simple harmony demands of us that we try our hardest to get on with those we come into contact with and, despite our differences, develop mutual understanding. 

It is, of course, possible to live a simple life alone; many have succeeded. Some have chosen to live alone and others have had it thrust upon them by circumstances which were not of their choosing; either way you can make yourself a rich and a simple life. However, the danger is of real isolation and this will work against the simple and peaceful existence that you crave. Remember that simplicity on its own may just be minimalism. That’s fine if that is what you want, but the thrust of this book is to suggest that moving to greater simplicity involves moving to a greater awareness of the spiritual dimension of life and in turn, which cannot leave you in a state of poor communication with others. 

Looking at the Amish as an example of a community living in a state of simplicity. To the Amish themselves, simplicity is only part of a tapestry of life that includes God, the Bible, family, and community; we cannot pick out strands of this tapestry without destroying the overall picture. All things are connected, and one strand is so interwoven with the others that, even to an outsider, the concept of being Amish looks like completeness. 

Unless you come from an Amish or conservative Mennonite family your chances of joining an Amish group are very slim indeed. The Amish are part of the Anabaptist tradition and, (like many Anabaptists) moved from Europe to America (initially by invitation of the Quaker William Penn) to set up home in Pennsylvania, a place of safety away from the persecution that was a familiar part of life in Europe. If it’s simplicity you want, then the Amish must be an important inspiration. Their rejection of much modern technology is not because of its modernity per se, rather than because it is not needed. Technological advances are deemed to be acceptable or not according to a judgment on how much impact they will have on normal Amish life.  

“Finally, be friendly to all and a burden to no one. Live holy before God; before yourself, moderately; before your neighbors, honestly. Let your life be modest and reserved, your manner courteous, your admonitions friendly, your forgiveness willing, your promises true, your speech wise, and share gladly the bounties you receive.” 

~The Amish Rules of a Godly Life 

Religious worship generally takes place in Amish homes and so accordingly, congregations must remain small. Contrary to popular belief, the Amish are not isolationists and do mix with other in the locality; in Eastern Pennsylvania and Western Ohio they work, farm and live alongside Mennonite and Quaker communities, interactions being everyday necessary occurrences. 

I have met many people who admire the Amish, and the number of books about them (including those novels known as ‘bonnet rippers’) is testimony to the appeal of their lives.  However, to live like the Amish, but not be part of a supportive and loving community, is a difficult if not impossible task. The thrust of this chapter is to encourage you to find a community that you can consider yourself a part of; for some this is an easy prospect, while for others it may be one of the more difficult aspects of developing a simple life. 

Being Part of a Community 

We all are part of several communities; these range from our families, our locality and our workplace to any groups we belong to. Getting on with these communities is an important part of the simple life. Here we will focus on looking for ways of fitting into your local community. You may already be a keen and active member of your local community, or you may feel very isolated, even ostracized by those who live close to you; either way the ground rules are the same.  

Always be polite, always greet people you pass on the street (unless you live in a large town or city where this would quickly wear you out) and say ‘good morning’ with a smile. Even if they don’t answer you still say ‘good morning’ with a smile for a few times until you are convinced that they really don’t want to be greeted when they see you; change the greeting then to a silent smile. If people want to talk with you, be cheerful, but don’t be drawn into long conversations if you don’t wish it, or if you have much work to do. It is quite possible to have a lighthearted chat with an individual every day for some years without it ever going any further.  No problem with that ~ being friendly does not always develop into friendship, and ‘getting on’ with people does not have to involve social intimacy. 

Above all other things, at whatever level you deal with people, treat them equally. Don’t consider yourself better than anyone, nor anyone better than you. Greet the homeless man in the same way that you would greet the rich woman, disregard sex, race, gender, sexual orientation, clothing, status and title.  It is not for you to judge them, nor allow personal prejudice to affect your responses to others. 

Many people like to get involved with local community organizations and so may you but consider these points carefully. Firstly, community involvement can take a great deal of time. Unless you can commit that time over a sustained period then you should not volunteer; you can be supportive, but not get actively involved yourself. Secondly you may well need to have an aptitude or even some sort of vocation for community work; if you lack either of these you may be letting your community down by getting involved with something for which you don’t necessarily have the skills. Is someone else better qualified than you to take part or even lead community action? Thirdly, never compromise your basic beliefs to fit in with community action; if you don’t agree with gambling, don’t run a raffle; if you are a vegetarian, don’t organize a hog roast, and if you agree with ideas of sexual equality, then think twice before joining groups to which only men or women are invited. It goes without saying that you should not get involved in anything that borders on racism, homophobia, the mistreatment of animals or illegality. 

Those things taken into account, if you feel that community action is the thing for you then what are you waiting for?  However, should you decide that it does not fit in with what you want, then don’t get involved, even if low-level bullying tactics are involved.  Be honest and simply say that you choose not to. You can give support to community action in many ways that do not involve you in direct organizational activities; seek out these ways and do what you can. Charity is the finest of things, but do not get involved in things that you are not entirely happy with under the simple pretext that ‘it’s for charity’; support those charities you believe in in ways that you find acceptable. 

Some people are shy or natural introverts while others are gregarious extroverts; know yourself and decide for yourself your level of community involvement. 

Joining Things 

You may want to join groups that share some of your values; we will look at spiritual groups later, but to start with, let’s consider politics. You can get involved with politics in two ways; you can join  a ‘single issue’ group ~ maybe against hunting, changing the law on a particular issue, protesting against a hospital closure, planning etc. as long as you agree fully with the aims of the group.  If you have the time, it seems to present few problems. You can also get involved with politics by joining a political party. This does raise some issues because if you don’t agree with all the policies of that party, you are still, in effect, campaigning for those same policies. You may of course still choose to support that party at election time on the grounds that they come at least some way in matching your ideals. As a Quaker and pacifist, I find that I cannot join any political party that supports war or the acquisition and maintenance of nuclear weapons; this does not stop me voting at every possible election ~ usually in an attempt to keep someone out of office who does support war and nuclear weapons! 

You can join any number of other non-political groups if you want but take care that your simple lifestyle is not being compromised. Join only what you can afford, consider the time it will absorb, and thus take you away from other things; ask carefully of yourself whether you are compromising your core beliefs in any way at all.  

"Too many of us have too many irons in the fire....  Quaker simplicity needs to be expressed...in the structure of a relatively simplified and coordinated life-program of social responsibilities."  

 ~ Thomas R. Kelly 

 Social Media and Simplicity 

Many will recoil in horror at me suggesting that social media has any relevance to living simply. I disagree because I am working on the premise that to follow a simple lifestyle does not require the rejection of technology, rather the use of technological tools to help achieve simplicity. Before we look at how to use social media it needs to be stated that this feature of modern life is very addictive and, unless you set yourself strict rules, it will use up too much of your time and too much of your energy, thus preventing or at least delaying you from achieving your goals. Decide how much time a day you want to devote to social media ~ or in fact the internet ~ all together and stick to it.  (I suggest that this should be no more than forty minutes a day.) Furthermore, ensure that you have at least one fixed and random internet free day each week.  The fixed day should be when the family is all at home together and the random day could be any day that finds you particularly busy. Be strict with yourself on this and use time limiting ‘apps’ to help you, should you lack the necessary self-control. Social media networks are free of charge to use, so as long as this remains true, why not use them? Our grandparents had no internet, but they did spend some time each week in the forgotten art of writing letters ~ you may regard social media as an extension of this idea or some of you may even prefer to go back to the old style of paper and envelope instead! 

Social media can do several things to help you in your simplicity, firstly it can help you overcome feelings of isolation in your simple life, secondly it can help you meet others involved in similar activities elsewhere in the world, and thirdly it can be an important source of information.  Facebook™ for instance has several ‘pages’ devoted to simple living, self-sufficiency, various faith-based and other ‘not-for-profit’ organizations; it also has ‘groups’ devoted to the same areas. Don’t go wild but find a handful of pages and groups and join them, make comments on the posts of others as you see fit and others will find you. Don’t ‘like’ commercial products or services on social media as they will only use this as a way of advertising to your friends. 

If you find yourself already on social media networks with friends and relatives that you no longer wish to associate with, you can start a new account with a new name.  You can send messages to those friends with whom you would like to keep in contact by directing them to the ‘new you’, give it two or three weeks and then close your old account ~ easy! As in real life, don’t feel beholden to those who you meet on the internet; if they post things that you find offensive or repeatedly pointless, then unfriend them at once. Don’t get involved in arguments on the internet, especially with strangers; no greater waste of human time has ever been found. Be honest and sincere with those you meet, even if you never expect to meet them in the flesh.  In this way you will make some very good friends. The great joy of these things is that if you are not in the mood for company, or simply too busy, then don’t switch on your computer. If you post on the internet, do it before switching off for the day; that way you won’t be tempted to keep returning to see who has responded. Live messaging is best used only with those you know well and want to chat with; don’t leave yourself open to chatting with those who have more time on their hands than you do (of which there are many). 

If all this sounds a little harsh, please remember that a simple life is not one that provides you with endless amounts of leisure time, in fact the more simple my life has become over the years, the less free time I have.  Time is precious ~ don’t waste it and, more importantly, don’t let others waste it for you! 

Blogging 

In the past many people kept journals, either as a diary or as some kind of written scrapbook of small items. You may decide that this is still a worthwhile idea, or you may decide that you can incorporate this into your simple lifestyle. I can testify that reading the blogs of others who try to live with simplicity has been an enormous source of encouragement and delight. You should limit blog reading to just those few that you really relate to, and you will find that responding to points in a helpful and cautious way will make you friends. I can see no point in responding to points made on blogs that you disagree with, or entering into arguments with those whose view of life differs greatly from your own; why spend your valuable time on things and views that you don’t care about? 

If you start your own blog, do it for free on one of the platforms that allow you not to use advertising or to choose your own products (you don’t want to see advertisements on your blog for products that you find unacceptable or even unethical). You may choose to blog anonymously to avoid intrusion into your private life or you can chose to have an ‘invitation only’ blog that you can share with friends and family, but not the great ‘googling’ public. Use your blog to illustrate and explain your lifestyle to others, be open and honest, but don’t use the space for confessions or attacking others ~ what would be the point of that? Write your blog when you have something to say and don’t fall into the trap of the weekly update, which will soon become a chore and a bit of an ‘albatross’ around your neck. Don’t measure your success in terms of comments and ‘likes’; many will read what you have to say without leaving a trace of their visit. 

(C) Ray Lovegrove 2016 2022